


Fight Them Until They Are Off Our Lands!!!

by Ithinkwehaveanemergency



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Giant Spiders, Graphic Descriptions of Violence against said Spiders, Looks Like Crack but it isnt I swear, M/M, There's A Tag For That
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 05:57:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13541175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ithinkwehaveanemergency/pseuds/Ithinkwehaveanemergency
Summary: A drabble about Liam.  Or Theo, maybe?But there are Giant spiders.Because of course there are.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mskristinamay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mskristinamay/gifts).



> The title of this fic was shortened for... obvious reasons. It is actually named for the wonderful instrumental Sufjan Stevens song, _**"The Black Hawk War, or, How to Demolish an Entire Civilization and Still Feel Good About Yourself in the Morning, or, We Apologize for the Inconvenience but You're Going to Have to Leave Now, or, 'I Have Fought the Big Knives and Will Continue to Fight Them Until They Are Off Our Lands!'"**_

Liam didn't ever make it to his senior prom.  Because, of course, in true Beacon Hills fashion...

There were ravenous, undead, giant spiders.

 

 *****

By the last month of his high school career, Liam had been through some shit.

To be fair, the whole county, and country for that matter, had been through some shit.

Liam just had an exaggerated version.

He had fought villains, fought friends, fought himself on a near daily basis...

He had left this realm of existence ( _long story, don't ask_ ), met aliens ( _seriously, villains from other planets, because Earth's supernatural wasn't enough_ ), made new allies and friends ( _which included at least 3 individuals who'd previously tried to kill him_ ) and he had lost quite a few people he cared about.

Everyone did.

The only person who gained people instead, was Theo.

 

*****

Theo had never been a stranger to loss.

In the past, it helped keep him grounded and focused. Loss is just a part of life. A part he's suffered from, and a part that he's caused.

It's hard not to get excited and reckless when you're young and drunk on power. But then his own personal hell had woken him from that inebriation. Harshly.

At first, when he'd come back from hell, he'd gotten wrapped up in the rush of saving Liam, of feeling like a hero to somebody, even if that somebody hated him. Once in a while, he'd slip up and something would almost happen to Liam and Theo would dive in, willing to die if it meant Liam would live.

That's when he'd realized the real reason why he was doing it. Why he'd started saving Liam.

The losses he'd experienced in his life. The losses he had caused for everyone else. The losses he has the power to prevent, with his strength and knowledge and determination.

Like Liam's favorite superhero says, "When you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen? They happen because of you."

That was how he saw the world now.

And if it was ~~all~~  mostly for a boy... So what?

Power was always his anchor. Only now he only strived for the power to help and protect the  ~~person~~  people he cared for.

Theo, to his dying day, will never regret falling in love with Liam. He will always remember the day he realized it felt like Liam mattered more than the world.

They hadn't been fooling around for more than a week, but they'd been living together in a haze of arguments, competitions and sexual tension a bit longer than that.

Jenna and her husband had taken him in with open arms after he'd sacrificed himself to rescue them, the sheriff, and Melissa after they had been kidnapped by Tamora's army. Liam and Argent had arrived at the last second, saving Theo from certain death, while the rest of the McCall pack and tens of other pack's rallied together to end the war once and for all.

That was the first time Liam had thanked him for saving someone.

Theo lived most days after the war just thankful to see another sunrise, and with it, Liam and Liam's family and friends.

He hadn't even thought about how much other people appreciated that he had made it out alive too.

Until months later, Liam's Prom night in fact, on the day Theo will always remember as the day he let himself fall in love.

*****

"13!"

"Fuck you, bro, there's no way you've killed 5 in the last 30 seconds." Liam yelled over his shoulder in response to Theo's shouted kill count, before ripping the head off one of the hundred or so 40 lb zombie-mutant-spider-creatures that were currently swarming the preserve.

"Make that 14!" Theo yelled back.

Liam turned around and sure enough, Theo was staring triumphantly down at what looked like about 6 giant spiders, skewered on a thin, but sturdy, broken tree branch.

"Oh, c'mon." Liam rolled his eyes, bracing himself as two more spider-things leapt at him. He grunted as one sunk it's oversized teeth into his shoulder, throwing it into it's friend and looking back up to stare at his own. "I feel like that's cheating. 11."

"What? No, it's not." Theo laughs, stepping into the head of a smaller sized octoped and gagging as some of the purple guts squirted up onto his shirt. "Its just resourceful. You're just mad you're not winning anymore. 15, by the way."

"13." Liam huffed as he stepped through the squishy torsos of the two creatures he'd finally cornered against a tree. "Whatever bro."

"We need to talk about the 'bro' thing." Theo sighed, rushing to save the back of Liam's suit slacks from being punctured by the enormous fangs of another rabid spider.  One that looked like it had to be over 50 lbs.

"Hey!" Liam cried. "No stealing! That one was mine!"

"I was saving you!" Theo cried back incredulously, wrestling with the big fuzzy black monster until he was forced to simply punch a hole through its disgusting multi-lensed eye, into its brain. He gagged again, sounding like he was genuinely going to hurl. "Gross, fuck. 16."

"Jesus, bro, it's not THAT bad." Liam chides. "You don't even gag this much when you're deep-throating my-"

"THAT!" Theo shouted in frustration, making Liam look up from the smaller, probably only 20 lb, malicious spider he was battling. Theo looked around for any imminent attacks before staring back, eyes wide and angry. "You called me 'bro' while I had my mouth around your dick last night. Like... Do you know what a turnoff that is?"

"It can't be that bad. 14." Liam grunted. "You came like 5 seconds after-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP." Malia screamed, definitely near a quarter mile to the west, by the sound of it. "I DO NOT NEED TO HEAR THIS. ALSO, I'M AT LIKE 30, SO STOP FLIRTING AND BE MORE EFFICIENT, YOU IMBECILES."

Liam and Theo stared at eachother wide eyed as Scott's raucous laughter sounded somewhere between them and Malia.

"15." Liam mumbled embarrassed as he shoved his foot into the tender skull of one of the smaller-sized spider-thing.

*****

Theo collapsed to the forest floor. Something squished and oozed fresh liquid under his spine.

"Ew." He winced, sitting back up.

"Ha, oh yeah, you had a huge chunk of spider brain on your back." Liam coughed out from beside him, laughing through hacks.

"Thanks. BRO." Theo frowned, pulling his torn, ruined shirt off altogether and resting his elbows on his gut-covered-jean-clad knees.

"Tee, I'm sorry. I honestly didn't realize it." Liam chuckled tiredly, running his sticky, dirty fingertips along the base of Theo's spine. Theo stayed sitting, tense, quiet, pointedly facing away from where Liam was strewn out on the dirt.

"Whatever." Theo huffed, wiping at his pants in a futile effort to rid himself of bluish-purple guts. "It doesn't matter. I guess that's what I am. One of your bros, right? That's why you didn't ask me to your prom."

"Theo-"

"I mean, I've got no idea how many of your school friends you go to when you get an itch to get your dick wet. Wouldn't want then to see you with a piece of sh-" Theo gagged around his words then growled as he yanked his shoe off with a squelch, stomach turning at the pungent stench of fresh zombie-arachnid guts.

"Theo that's not-"

"It's a like we said the other night." Theo's voice cracked and he yelped as the suction holding his other shoe on gave way, and more guts spilled to the ground in front of him. "It's just so convenient with us being across the hall from eachother and-"

"Theo, ohmygod, stop!" Liam shouted. Theo's neck whipped around, glaring down over his shoulder. Liam squinted back from the ground, an incredulous grin on his face. "Did you hear that Nolan asked me to go to prom with him the day before yesterday?"

Theo's eyes flew open wide and he stumbled to his feet, right sock still on, squelching uncomfortably as he stumbled away, trying to put distance between him and the 18-year-old werewolf, staring with disgust and chagrin.

"Jesus, you fucking asshole, I get it. You don-"

"I said I preferred to go stag.  That I was flattered but I was with someone, and don't think he'd like that." Liam shouted over Theo's furious rant.

The two stared at eachother. Frown against smile, neither wavering in the least..

"I know we said..." Liam laughed, sitting up with a bit of effort and angling himself toward Theo. "I know this isn't... that."

Theo's breath caught and he let his anger slip in favor of hope, before catching himself and turning away from Liam altogether.

"But Theo, I want it to be." Liam's grin finally dropped in favor of a completely vulnerable, pleading look. "I didn't even think twice when Nolan asked, I had just been on this high for the past week, because finally after months of dying to... I was finally touching you. Like a lot. Every night since we... And all I could think was that you were the only person I wanted to touch like that, every night, for my hopefully long, long, foreseeable future."

Liam was out of breath. Nervous, but still smiling maniacally.

"I swear, Theo ever since you almost died at that final battle..." Liam's voice was shaky, ready to break, but he laughed it off. "I have never been so happy to see someone in my life. When you were alive, and there, in my arms as we drove home that night, your healing finally kicking in...

"God, I knew right then that I couldn't fucking live without you. Not because you're my anchor, not because you keep me and my pack safe, but because I'm fucking in love with you, Theo. I don't even... I can't, I don't want to remember life without you by my side."

Theo didn't move, or react at all, in fact, except for the low shallow breaths he seemed to be struggling with.

A minute passed.

Two.

Liam frowned at the back of his Theo's head and wondered if he didn't have as good a read of the situation as he thought he did.

"40." Theo breathed out softly.

"What?" Liam exhaled a breath he didn't realize he was holding.

"I win." Theo spoke louder, turning so that Liam could see his profile. His eye lashes were wet. "Your last call was 38. I got 40. I win."

"Seriously? You-" Liam swallowed down the lump in his throat. He relaxed and reached out for the other teen. "God, Theo please come here and kiss me."

"No." Theo turned to face Liam, face serious. "I will puke if you get your spider-entrail covered face anywhere near me, I swear."

Liam howled out a laugh and let himself fall back against the cold earth once more.

"And I'm not blowing you again until you shower at least 3 times." Theo grumbled angrily. Liam grinned happily when he felt Theo sit next to him once more and thread their moist, disgusting fingers together. He wanted to gag, but he held it back because he wouldn't give Theo the satisfaction after his earlier admonishment. Theo did gag though, before clearing his throat. "In boiling hot water."

Liam would do that.

Liam would do anything for Theo, really.

He's know for a while that Theo would do absolutely anything for him. Ever since the chimera stared at him across an elevator, facing imminent death, and claimed otherwise.

"Wait." Liam frowned, eyes flying open in confusion. "You actually wanted to go to prom with me?"

Theo froze beside him once more, and Liam's face brightened.

"You wanted to take me to my prom, oh my god, baaaabe." Liam cooed, gripping Theo's hand tighter.

"No, nope." Theo wrenched his hand away, the slimy goo, making it easier to escape Liam's excited grip. He stood frantically and glared straight down at Liam's delighted face. "That's not gonna be a thing. Rule one, no nicknames. That includes bro, babe, baby, or anything that starts with a 'B'."

"Not even boyfriend? I assuming that's what we are. Right, boyfriend?" Liam teased, watching Theo's cheeks darken, visible even under the dirt-black and purple streaks.

"You may use it to describe, not to address me." Theo grumbled, before the corner of his mouth curved up traitorously and he started walking out if the clearing, in the direction of the road, where he truck awaited them.

"Oh my god. Awww, you liiiiike it." Liam called loudly after him. "You want me to call you boyfriend. Aw, sweetieeee."

"Fuck you." Theo shouted, picking up his pace into a jog as he heard Liam scramble to his feet to catch up to him. "I still killed more spiderlings than you, boyfriend. I'm a better fighter. I win."

For once, Liam didn't argue.


	2. DELETED SCENE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, this was originally cut, because it sucked, but I went back and fixed it and it's not so bad this morning. So, I'm putting it here as a deleted scene

"37!  Oh my... You've gotta be fucking kidding me!" Liam shouted from behind him. Theo heard actual fear in the werewolf's voice, so he quickly ripped the unpleasantly furry head off the spider in his grasp and turned to face Liam.

Liam was staring, wide-eyed over Theo's shoulder, so the chimera followed his gaze.

"Holy..." Theo looked up at the spider behind him. It was at least 7 feet tall, stood up on its 8 legs, each the size of two small children hinged together.

Theo wasted no time, yanking a particularly sturdy tree branch out from the previois arachnid corpae he'd speared, charging for the beast at full speed.

"Theo, wait!" Liam sounded concerned, but Theo leapt onto one of the thick, hinged legs and climbed to the top of the spider's body with his usual grace. Liam rolled his eyes from the ground, pausing to note a normal-sized giant spider barreling toward him. Liam pulled his right leg back and landed a perfectly timed kick at the high speed spider, sending it flying into a neighboring tree with a 'splat.'

Theo was crouched atop the giant spider, riding it as it failed and tried to buck Theo off. Theo was holding the makeshift spear high above his head as he held on, and finally as the spider stood all tall as possible on its massive legs, Theo thrust the wood into its crown as hard as he could. The thing screeched terribly and shuddered, falling to the ground in a heap, Theo tumbling off it's back, landinging in a giant pile of goopy purple.

"That-" Theo gagged and dry heaved, standing up out of the like of guts. "That sucked."

Liam stared at him, eyebrow arched.

The Queen Zombie Spider's head made a gurgling sound, and Theo looked toward it in fear, turning to run a second too late as the massive head exploded, raining down pieces of bluish brain on the entire clearing.

Liam and Theo stared at eachother in shock as all the other spiders in the forest dropped to their death suddenly. Cries of joy came from their left as Scott and Malia seemed to had the same happen in their neck of the woods.

Liam squinted at Theo angrily, even as the older boy looked back, face still stricken with horror from the explosion.

"That still only counts as one kill." Liam growled.


End file.
